News and Views from the world wanderings of Pj Kwong. Finally! A place for all of the things I write and think about!
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Thursday, February 4, 2010 4:24 PM
Posted By SkatingPj
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I would be lying if I said that I was kindly disposed to the fact that my arch (language) rival the mighty Grier has already produced his first Wacky English submission. Although it wasn't found in Vancouver, he feels because he is already in Games mode that it counts. I am iffy. You will have to be the judge as you read his note:
"Dear Ms. Kwong,
If I recollect collectly, you previously made up some lame excuse about the fact that since Canadians speak English we'd have put the Silly English competish on hold until we get to London in 2012..
Well I am here to say that I will not be so easily put off...! The Games must go on!
I therefore submit my initial entry. (I must preface my entry with a brief explanation of extenuating circumstances. Having arrived in Vancouver on the 19th of January, I began in earnest looking for suitable text. I began scouring the Chinese restaurants across town... I checked out the Korean BBQ joints near Burnnaby... Japanese bars on Granville... Nothing!
My fortunes changed with the new month. On the 1st I flew to Tokyo for a brief meeting and a one-night layover at a Narita airport hotel... It was a grey cold February afternoon... Looking out the small hotel window and feeling a bit melancholy about my inability to find a suitable entry in our biannual silliness, I was struck by providence... For right there on the window in front of me was the following...
"NOTICE: Do not open a window to prevent a dewdrop or harmful insect entering"
The fact that I found this bit of wisdom in the far east maybring pause, but as am more or less 'at the Games', I think it merits approval.
I remain at your mercy..."
From my perspective it's no GREEK MEET BALLS (from Athens 2004) but given the fact that it is being submitted as a jumping off point, I think we will have to accept it.
Game on!
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Wednesday, February 3, 2010 7:41 AM
Posted By SkatingPj
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My daughter Amanda has giraffes in her backyard in Kenya!
I just wanted to say that. I think it's pretty cool; and thinking about giraffes in a person's backyard means I don't need to think about packing for Vancouver.
As I am leaving in just under 48 hours, it is time to think about packing I want to tell you though of the ways I have gone about distracting myself from doing just that. First of all, there was the search for the perfect computer laptop bag with wheels. I dragged my other daughter Caroline all over the place on Sunday looking for this mythical bag. I wanted it to be an upright rather than long sided rectangle that was light and that could hold a lot of stuff. My friend Debbi has the perfect tan coloured one that opens all the way up and weighs only about 12ozs. Of course, when I dropped by her house for coffee, I asked to look at it again only to find it is first of all a lovely shade of burgundy and not tan and that it is BIG and not all that light when it is all said and done. It is darling though and would work with a myriad of wardrobe choices.
Hmmm....could it be that I have made up the perfect laptop bag in my head?? Impossible! I also rejected Staples totally out of hand as a possibility for the Grailbag (as I now call it) only to find it there. After all, the store in question isn't the least bit trendy or forward thinking and this was a "special" bag. Not only was it at Staples, but it was at the Staples in my (sketchy) neighbourhood AND on sale. (They must have changed their stock and upped their HQ - hipness quotient.)
Not just big giraffes but baby ones too!! awwww....
Debbie L (the other Debbie - pronounced with an "e" on the end) has ...um...pursuaded me to bring with me 2 banners from her 3 different schools AND a Flat Stanley and to take them around to different Olympic locations, take pictures and write about those experiences. I will be posting those stories here in their own Flat Stanley and The Rings Section. I am, of course, delighted to do this for her as she is my oldest ( much older than I) and dearest friend of over 40 years. She also knows where "all of the bodies are buried" which means that "NO" isn't an option for me. She is dedicated, funny and, she says, really smart. I am not so sure though, as she went about painting the banners with typical zeal she stepped back from her masterpiece (and you have to understand the bigger of the 2 banners is 6 metres in length) only to find that she had splattered paint on the school stage by accident AND she misspelled SCOOL. (Her daughter said to blame it on a grade 2 <lol>) So...you be the judge?
Did I tell you about the giraffes? She has electricity, no running water and no internet and is communicating via text message with me. There is also no end of warm and friendly people in the Masai community where she is located.
Ok...now 46 hours to go...the clock (or as Debbie would write CLOC) is running...next stop VANCOUVER!!!
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Sunday, January 24, 2010 6:27 PM
Posted By SkatingPj
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Hi everyone....
I have learned so much; some of which I would like to share with you:
1. ALWAYS bring toilet paper with you to the loo. Seems it is only put out for company so in the days leading up to an event, you're on your own.
2. Shan Dian OO Shang - either means when translated "Modern Pentathlon" - modern 5 events is the literal translation or and I am still checking with the Olympic News Service - "Original yet Modern Chinese Fire Drill".
3. Many of you may know that I took some Chinese language lessons before I came here and in truth I think it may have gotten me into more trouble than not because when I say anything to a Chinese person they (sadly) insist on talking to me. As anyone who knows any other languages knows at first all you can understand is what you are saying when other people actually speak to you it kind of messes you up the following is an actual Chinese conversation that took place in my venue today (day 2 at OYMCFD - see #2)
What the Chinese colleague said to Pj: "Chinese chinese chinese chinese chinese, chinese, chinese, chinese, chinese ? Chinese, chinese, chinese,
chinese, chinese, chinese: Chinese, Chinese, ok, bye bye."
What Pj heard/understood: "You, chinese, chinese, chinese, chinese, chinese, macadamia nut!! Chinese, roast, chinese, chinese, duck, we, microphone, chinese, chinese, coffee? Panty lives in Greece, chinese, Olympic-u, chinese, chinese, paper, chinese, nap, ok,.bye bye."
On the Chinese lessons: That was money well spent!
4. If you see the following on a menu, even if it is a Korean BBQ menu, as I did last night with friends, don't order it:
Grilled Therdgrdha Icogrdmma
Feel free to order a piece of grilled steaf
5. If you are foreign and work at the Olympic Games in China...be prepared to have your picture taken a lot...and to be introduced to local people of varying degrees of importance. Tonight, I was presented to the deputy director of the Olympic Sports Center complex whose job it is to oversee all of the venues there. So...handball, water polo, modern pentathlon and I am sure other things all fall under his jurisdiction. I smiled my warmest smile and said in my best Chinese I was very happy to be in Beijing and that I thought that this was a wonfderful Olympics!
At least that's what I hope I said. As usual I had a Chinese person translating my Chinese into Chinese.
Hopefully this Chinese friend did a better job than the last one who let me walk around for a couple of days doing my thumbs up to people and telling them: Good job! As I started to get sassy with my new found phrase and I used it unsupervised and started getting strange looks.When Cissy (who taught me the phrase) stopped laughing; I found out that I had been randomly doing the thumbs up and telling people (a whole lot of people) "girly fat". So around the groups I go pointing to people; smiling and t humbs-upping them and saying "girly fat!!!". "girly fat!!!" Because I also know superlatives, I could also say "most girly fat!!!!" to those singled out for additional praise.
There's nothing else to say really is there? As usual...I have watched no sports and haven't a clue as to what is going.
Pretty much business as usual.
Cheers,
Pj/mom
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Tuesday, January 12, 2010 8:15 PM
Posted By SkatingPj
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Hi everyone
As you all know,I love words and I love how a language is used tells you a little bit about the people who speak it. and what is important to them For instance, it was explained to me that the Chinese refer to the number of people there are in their family by saying how many mouths there are; a pretty clear indication of the importance of food in the culture
Ok I know,a bit of a ramble.Here's the language point: I am not Chinese.
What????!!!
After all these years as a Kwong and the catrillions of chuckles I have had as a result of having a Chinese name and a non-Chinese face,I arrived in China, the birth place of said name only to find that they don't see it or hear it the way I say it as Chinese. Early on here in Beijing, I said to one of my young colleagues that Kwong was a Chinese name. She looked at me like I was mental and told me no it wasn't possible. To be honest, I didn't know where to go with that one. I repeated "Kwong" .She looked at my accreditation tag and still said: no. Not Chinese name. She did say the pics of my kids looked like Chinese. Sigh. Anyway, when it was finally explained that my "people" are from the south and we still write our name in old fashioned Chinese (whatever that means) the light bulb went off for her and she acknowledged that it was (perhaps) a Chinese name but the fact that it was from Canton province explained a lot. (Although I am still not clear what...but felt the comparison to the Appalachian Mountain folk in that comment)
More name stuff....all of the young people who work on my team have given themselves an English name to be helpful to David and myself. The only problem is that although they remember their own English names and the kids with whom they work the closest, they cannot for the life of themselves remember anyone else's English name...which...in the case of an evacuation could get a little hairy. (No...am not really expecting any evacuations...just wanted to say that for dramatic effect). So conversations go like this: Pj: "Nancy, do you know where Eva is?" Nancy: "Who?" Pj: "You know...EVA...?" Nancy: "Why do you want her?" Pj: "I wanted to give her something, do you know where she is?" Nancy: "Where who is?" Pj "Eva" Nancy: "Who?" Pj: "That's ok...I will wait for her to come back"
As a reward for "careful reading":
The following is what you have been waiting for...and comes from a small restaurant where Pete, Amanda and I had lunch...some of the items on the menu...full list to follow...but this will whet your appetite and move me more strongly into the lead of the wacky English Olympics (sucks to be you Grier!):
Tomato fries the egg
Does the Pot Sacrificial Rabbit
The potato burns the Beef
The onion explodes the Mutton
Wire drawing Banana (apple)
Stir fries before stewing the cowpea dryly
Shiitake Mushroom rape
Burns Kale in vain
Fragrant Spicy Potato Sik
Pj's favourite: the Palace Explodes the Diced Chicken...
On all of the pages was the following: "The picture only supplies the reference, the product take the material object as"
Pretty much says it all....
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Saturday, January 9, 2010 2:44 PM
Posted By SkatingPj
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This was originally sent home as an email to friends and family in the summer of 2008.
Hi all,
Just wanted to let you know what I have been up to for the most part this week...
I have been working at Modern Pentathlon...Daniel sent me a text message to say that as far as he was concerned, Modern Pentathlon could be described in this way:
It is like a wealthy Victorian gentleman's holiday. First, you shoot something, Then you have a little sword fight after which you take a little dip. You then take Bessie out for a canter and then finish it off with a little pre-dinner jog.
Pretty much sums it up. 2 days of competition, morning til night...5 events...shooting,fencing, swimming, riding and running. The real excitement in the men's event was in the riding. Actually not so much riding. Lots of aerial feats. More like hanging on and/or being tossed off. (I think they brought the wrong horses in,...is the Calgary Stampede still on????) Apparently, scuttlebut from co-announcer Tristan (who works at Barclay's bank and sounds like Hugh Grant...nothing a little fiber couldn't fix in a jiffy) has it that pentathlon is 'dangerously exposed' as a lot of the top male competitiors don't know how to ride. For some strange reason many of the Olympic qualifying events for pentathlon only have 4 events...therefore...a lot of competitors let the riding stay on the back burner. It explained a whole lot. Aside from the "Flying Ridinis', many of those who didn't sail over the top of the horse's head were able to make the horses jump off all 4s like a jack rabbit. very peculiar....what ever would mummy say?? (Especially since Tristan's mummy runs the pony club and he is a former competitor.)
Hmmm...did I mention that Tristan told me, almost as soon as he met me, that he felt strongly that any sport that had music as a component didn't belong in the Olympics?
Game on ...:)
Men competed yesterday...women today. Am delighted to be able to say that the women seemed to be better at the riding bit...many more of them stayed put. Well done ladies!
Princess Anne came yesterday morning to watch a bit of shooting...and NO...we are still not on speaking terms.
Prince Albert was one of the presenters last night for the medals...things just haven't been the same between us since that messy "monkey in the middle" incident...at least I said (and spelled) his name right....and en francais to boot!
Ok...well if you want to know more about Modern Pentathlon....look it up...or I will give you Tristan's email.
In the meantime, the event went very well today...my Chinese colleagues were delighted...and as is the norm, as soon as we finished with the medals...onto the track for lots more pictures. Some great memories...I am sure y'all can't wait for slide show night at my house...
DAY OFF TOMORROW!!!!
Look for my wrap-up :)
Pj/mom xoxoxo
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